Kittens, Zombies and God

Welcome one and all to the latest internet sideshow!  Bearded ladies and Siamese twins are a thing of the past.  And let’s be honest, it takes a lot more than your basic freak show stuff to entertain mainstream audiences today anyway.  But amazingly, cute kittens are still enough to garner millions of viewers.  It truly is an amazing millennium.

But I digress.  So, what does this blog intend to offer you that you have yet to come across in this vast internet universe?  One simple man attempting to read and make sense of one of the most bizarre pieces of writing that exists today.  The Bible.  It’s full of crazy stuff!  There’s a talking donkey!  People rising from the dead!  And I heard that somewhere buried in there a guy sends a bear to maul a bunch of kids!  C’mon!  That’s just AWESOME!  And another time God becomes human!  That means God pooped.  That’s nuts!  And that’s not to mention all the sex, drinking, murder, greed, betrayal and war!  Days of Our Lives eat your heart out, this is some truly crazy stuff.

So here’s the deal.  I’m a Christian who basically sucks at reading his Bible.  It’s one of those things all “good” Christians do every morning, followed by earnest prayer that probably involves asking God to forgive all those sinners out there.  I wouldn’t really know.  I like to sleep in, and when I do eventually roll out of bed like a bear coming out of hibernation I seek out coffee and food.  Bacon is good.  It’s better if someone else puts in the effort to cook it though.  And later if I do feel like reading, you can bet that I’m reading some slightly-better-than-mediocre novel.  (In fact, Max Brooks is currently wooing me with World War Z.  Yeah, the Z stands for zombies.)

I also read books about other people’s experiences with God.  Like The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning, Radical by David Platt and The Heavenly Man by a Chinese guy named Yun.

However, as the new year approaches, I think it’s time for a little change.  And I do love Jesus a lot (the guy literally changed my life) so it’s time to really dive into the book that my beliefs claim to be the LIVING WORD of God.  See, even that’s crazy…the Bible is considered living.  What!?  What does a person do with that?  As a human with a functioning brain I can tell you that books aren’t alive, that they’re static.  Yet…here is a book that Christians claim to be living, to be full of LIFE.  I haven’t even tapped the keg for this party yet and already it’s getting out of control.  Next thing you know the cops are going to be knocking at the door before things really get interesting.

With all that said I’ve never read the entire thing before, but much of what I have come across has been everything from encouraging to frustrating and incredibly helpful to incredibly confusing.  So from Nov. 25, 2011 to Nov. 25, 2012 I am going to read the Bible through fully, and share my responses, thoughts and questions and hopefully entertaining insights here.  (For the record I’ll be using a New Living Translation of The One Year Chronological Bible.)  If this book is what my fellow Christians say it is…then it should be incredibly mind blowing and unlike anything else out there. Let’s hope for once a book lives up to the hype surrounding it.

Let the craziness begin!

(Images from The Queerist and Wikipedia respectively)

6 thoughts on “Kittens, Zombies and God

  1. Just found your site today and I have to say, I’m excited about it. Can’t wait to see what else you’re going to say. Can’t believe that on day 1 you reminded people that God probably pooped. Holy crap!…that was brave, dude.

  2. I don’t understand how someone can call themselves a Christian before even reading the bible. This means everything you know was taught to you, most likely by someone who didn’t read the bible either. To have faith or to believe in something you don’t understand is just lunacy. I’m glad you’re reading it now. Hopefully you’ll come back to reality and become a born again Atheist.

    • Hey Neo. A quick clarification…I never I said that I’d never read The Bible. Growing up as a Christian I read it in church and at youth group and when my Mom would read it to me. In high school I was part of Bible studies, etc. It’s just that I never read the whole thing, never took ownership of delving into in full, on my own. It’s a lot like math. I bet you were taught Geometry in school, and did the minimum amount required for homework/test-taking…but did you ever read the whole Geometry book cover to cover? Did you read the parts that no one ever asked you to? I know I didn’t. I was fine with the little bit my teacher taught me…yet I believe to have a basic grasp of Geometry.

      This was along the same lines. As I’ve grown I’ve decided I no longer wanted to simply live off the teaching of others (and not just parents, but Christian scholars and theologians whose books I’ve read) but wanted to discover and learn on my own, for my own sake. I thought it was a pretty beautiful thing to be honest.

      And lastly, after reading it, I honestly feel like I understand less, and yet, appreciate it more. I’ve come to believe modern (as in the past 500 years) Christianity has boxed in God to “understand” Him. I think it’s probably a result of the Enlightenment, and reason/ration, etc….and after reading the Bible…it doesn’t seem like God works in that framework. He’s way more unpredictable and confusing and weird. Reading the Bible has brought far more questions than answers…and I’m ok with that. I still believe in Him very, very much.

      Still reading? If so…one last thing. I can fully understand your comment/thought and don’t think you’re too far off. I think people need to own their spiritual beliefs for themselves. I fully agree with you on that. Thanks for stopping by the blog. I appreciate anyone taking the time to read and share.

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