Kittens, Zombies and God

Welcome one and all to the latest internet sideshow!  Bearded ladies and Siamese twins are a thing of the past.  And let’s be honest, it takes a lot more than your basic freak show stuff to entertain mainstream audiences today anyway.  But amazingly, cute kittens are still enough to garner millions of viewers.  It truly is an amazing millennium.

But I digress.  So, what does this blog intend to offer you that you have yet to come across in this vast internet universe?  One simple man attempting to read and make sense of one of the most bizarre pieces of writing that exists today.  The Bible.  It’s full of crazy stuff!  There’s a talking donkey!  People rising from the dead!  And I heard that somewhere buried in there a guy sends a bear to maul a bunch of kids!  C’mon!  That’s just AWESOME!  And another time God becomes human!  That means God pooped.  That’s nuts!  And that’s not to mention all the sex, drinking, murder, greed, betrayal and war!  Days of Our Lives eat your heart out, this is some truly crazy stuff.

So here’s the deal.  I’m a Christian who basically sucks at reading his Bible.  It’s one of those things all “good” Christians do every morning, followed by earnest prayer that probably involves asking God to forgive all those sinners out there.  I wouldn’t really know.  I like to sleep in, and when I do eventually roll out of bed like a bear coming out of hibernation I seek out coffee and food.  Bacon is good.  It’s better if someone else puts in the effort to cook it though.  And later if I do feel like reading, you can bet that I’m reading some slightly-better-than-mediocre novel.  (In fact, Max Brooks is currently wooing me with World War Z.  Yeah, the Z stands for zombies.)

I also read books about other people’s experiences with God.  Like The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning, Radical by David Platt and The Heavenly Man by a Chinese guy named Yun.

However, as the new year approaches, I think it’s time for a little change.  And I do love Jesus a lot (the guy literally changed my life) so it’s time to really dive into the book that my beliefs claim to be the LIVING WORD of God.  See, even that’s crazy…the Bible is considered living.  What!?  What does a person do with that?  As a human with a functioning brain I can tell you that books aren’t alive, that they’re static.  Yet…here is a book that Christians claim to be living, to be full of LIFE.  I haven’t even tapped the keg for this party yet and already it’s getting out of control.  Next thing you know the cops are going to be knocking at the door before things really get interesting.

With all that said I’ve never read the entire thing before, but much of what I have come across has been everything from encouraging to frustrating and incredibly helpful to incredibly confusing.  So from Nov. 25, 2011 to Nov. 25, 2012 I am going to read the Bible through fully, and share my responses, thoughts and questions and hopefully entertaining insights here.  (For the record I’ll be using a New Living Translation of The One Year Chronological Bible.)  If this book is what my fellow Christians say it is…then it should be incredibly mind blowing and unlike anything else out there. Let’s hope for once a book lives up to the hype surrounding it.

Let the craziness begin!

(Images from The Queerist and Wikipedia respectively)