The Bible Turns Me On

What You’ve Missed…
* Proverbs on how to become wise.
* Proverbs on the value of a good work ethic.
* Proverbs on how to live a long, healthy life.
* Proverbs on how to gain wealth.
* Proverbs on how to remain in God’s favor.
* Basically…Solomon (the wisest man ever) is giving away the most amazing advice of all time. For free.
* And as my friend Antley says, “If it’s for free, it’s for me.”

Day 155
Daily Reading: Song of Solomon (Or Song of Songs)

There seems to be this idea out there in the universe that Christians are prudes. I’m not talking about prudeness in terms of being “generally conservative.” I’m talking about sex, baby. In my experience, some people who aren’t Christians have seemed to infer they believe that Christians think sex is pretty much the devil. In my experience, some people who ARE Christians have also seemed to infer that sex is pretty much the devil.

Sex oriented conversations can often be “hushed up” at church. I mean, how dare anyone talk about s-e-x while in the house of the LORD.

But have these Christians read the Bible? There’s tons of sex! In fact, I’m going to go ahead and say that Song of Solomon is extremely sexy. Yup…one of the books in the Bible is incredible sexy. In fact…it may be one of the sexiest things I’ve ever read. Here’s a taste of what I mean (this is a dude speaking to his lover):

“Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a skilled craftsman. Your navel is perfectly formed like a goblet filled with mixed wine. Between your thighs lies a mound of wheat bordered with lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, twin fawns of a gazelle…” (Song of Solomon 7:1-3)

C’mon on! If that doesn’t get you a little riled up, then you’re probably wearing an ankle length skirt, or ridiculously thick trousers, and claiming that fornication is of the devil. And you’re probably a total bummer to everyone you talk to.

But the young man doesn’t stop there. I mean, we’re talking about a guy here. A guy who’s very interested in, and planning on getting some action. In fact, he goes from stirring up some sexual passion to being straight up horny just a few verses later.

“You are like a slender palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters of fruit. I said, ‘I will climb the palm tree and take hold of its fruit.’” (Song of Solomon 7:7-8)

I don’t mean to be coarse, nor am I simply trying to shock you. But let’s be honest here. Basically, this guy, in THE HOLY BIBLE is saying, “I can’t wait to jump you and grab your boobs,” to the woman he loves. And do you know how she responds? Girl ain’t ashamed of how the good LORD blessed her. She’s clearly familiar with the idea of, if you got it, flaunt it. She knows she got it goin’ on.

“I was a virgin, like a wall; now my breasts are like towers. When my lover looks at me, he is delighted with what he sees.” (Song of Solomon 8:10)

Know what else she says?

“Let us get up early and go to the vineyards to see if the grapevines have budded, if the blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates have bloomed. There I will give you my love.” (Song of Solomon 7:12)

This is some pretty hot stuff. Breasts like towers? Climbing the palm tree to grab hold of some “coconuts”? “Flowers” opening and blossoming? Mounds of “wheat” between a woman’s thighs? This is pretty straight-forward sex talk if you ask me. It’s also pretty erotic. Beautiful too.

So. If you’re not a Christian, and you think Christians are prudes who’re out to remove sex from the human experience, well, not all of us are. In fact, some of us are pretty big sex fans ourselves. And if you are a Christian, and you’re turned off by the idea of hot sex, well, read your Bible, and get turned on.